True Friendship

1. When you are sad -  I will help get you drunk and plot revenge
 against the sorry bastard who  made you sad.

 2. When you are blue  - I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

 3. When you smile - I  will know you finally got laid.

 4. When you are  scared - I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
 
 5. When you are  worried - I will tell you horrible stories about how
    much worse it could be and to quit whining.
 
 6. When you are  confused - I will use little words.

 7. When you are sick -  Stay the hell away from me until you are well
     again...I don't want whatever you have.

 8. When you fall - I  will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
 
 This is my oath, I  pledge it till the end.  Why?, you may ask. Because
 you are my friend.
 
 

Remember: A good  friend will help you move. A really good friend will
 help you move the  body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.